This week, the ubiquitously absurd Lady Gaga appeared at the MTV Video Music Awards. Well, actually, she didn't appear -- her alter ego, Jo Calderone, did. Calderone looked frighteningly hideous, with a large coif that looked a good deal like Elvis and a dark brooding look that looked a good deal like crystal meth. Overall, she strongly resembled Sal Mineo in "Rebel Without A Cause."

In her opening monologue, Gaga channeling Calderone said, "She left me! She said it always starts out good and then the guys -- meaning me, I'm one of the guys -- we get crazy. I did. I got crazy. But she's f---ing crazy too, right?" Apparently, Gaga as Calderone was telling fans that Gaga left Calderone. Got it?  Click here to read more.